47 Moving, Powerful, and Wise Things the Shine Community Learned in 2019
2019 was a big year—and the end of an even bigger decade.
To get ready for the next chapter, we turned to the Shine community and asked a question: What’s a lesson you’re taking into 2020 that you learned in 2019—or, even a lesson you learned in the past decade?
Hundreds of answers poured in from all over the world. Some people learned this year that they have what it takes to be their own best friend, while others learned to embrace all their feelings. Meanwhile, others focused on resisting burnout culture and some prioritized protecting their energy.
While we recieved so many gems, we gathered 47 of the best to share with you and help inspire another 365 days of growth. Here's to more growth in the new year.
"Life is not ever planned...there is no destination, rather there is always a journey. You cannot predict anything, and your reactions to everything that happens speaks volumes to yourself and those around you. It isn't about the falling down—it's about how you pick yourself up in the face of adversity. You can choose to wallow, or you can choose to find joy in every day."
— Jeanie T.
"It's a lesson I'm still learning, but limiting what I take on/commit to is so important. If I spread myself too thin, I get less done and less well."
— Puck M.
"To not give up but to keep trying, even when it is difficult. Hard work does pay off eventually but it takes time and patience."
"It’s not about having it all figured out; it’s about showing up every day with the best attitude and the right energy and making the most of the present-the rest works itself out."
— Kelsey E.
"It is okay to not complete your to-do list. Life goes on and your to-do list will move on with you. You can only do so much in one day so embrace it in all its glory."
— Marisa G.
"To never underestimate my independence and capabilities."
— Jami A.
"It sounds corny, but I need to learn to say no. When I ignore that uncomfortable feeling at the pit of my stomach, I end up on the wrong path."
— Marcella C.
"Life is short. Anything could happen in a split second. So be nice and don't do or say things you are gonna regret to the people you love and care about."
— Stacie B.
"Give yourself time. You have your whole life to live with yourself, learning more about your interests and strengths. Do what feeds you most."
— Katelyn K.
"That progress takes time and you have to honor where you are before you can get to your next level."
— Erin R.
"When you stand up for yourself you run into people who don't understand. You didn't do it for them so their opinion doesn't matter."
— Juliana S.
"The only person you can always count on is yourself so be your own best friend!"
— Grace V.D.
"Being disabled and unable to work does not mean that I am not a contributing member of society or that my existence has no worth."
— Jennifer L.
"I have permission to be happy. I am not who I was yesterday."
— Charlena B.
"I'm not beneath self compassion—I'm worth the effort and I can retrain my brain to be kind to myself."
— Karina P.
"Pausing and not reacting is better for me in the long run. Not taking things so personally. Being honest, radical love, and acceptance."
— Raquell C.
"My path is my own. Examples, models, and templates aren't enough to guide me as I move forward. There is no playbook for life. Being brave, authentic, and listening to my inner voice is what will help me find my way."
— Jessica S.
"Speaking up for yourself and what you want isn't selfish; those around you benefit from knowing they can trust you to be honest."
— Halley H.
"I learned I have ADHD and that so much of my negative perceptions about myself can be attributed to my brain not working the way I thought it did. I’m learning to be kinder to myself."
— Stella C.
"I learned to face my feelings and deal with it, not try to ignore or bury it. Shine's articles showed me how to accomplish that."
— Glenda C.
"I can only get through difficult feelings by processing them, not ignoring or stuffing them."
— Laura W.
"To consider the parts of my life that don't earn me money—family and household stuff—as valuable and well worth the time it takes to do it without feeling guilty."
— Mirjam L.
"Don't internalize everything. Know who you are. Let it go, if it hurts."
— Leah C.
"This year I want to take care of myself and make smarter choices in relationships. I want to have more fun this year, not worry so much and enjoy my singlehood instead of dreading it."
— Elisa G.
"Never stay at a job that makes you upset more often than not."
— Cassie S.
"Friends, no matter how close you've grown or how long you've known each other, can still become strangers."
— Giada P.
"To stay strong and use my emotional intelligence to guide my decisions."
"I am my greatest investment. When I invest in myself I allow for freedom."
— Mary Rose Z.
"You are the writer of your own story. You get to decide where it goes."
— Hayley G.
"Consistency is great, changes take time. Stay in your lane and focus."
— Jeab K.
"Most of the things I worried and stressed over never materialized or turned out better than I had expected."
— Angela D.
"Be gentle with yourself. And have gratitude during the growth moments. Embrace the growth moments because excellence is brewing."
— Malena P.
"What happened in the past is not necessarily what’s happening now. Nothing bad will happen if I allow myself to rest and heal, and I don’t give up my strength when I recognize that I no longer have to fight."
— Marina K.
"I learned that some people aren’t meant to be in your life all the time. Sometimes you have to cut the cord or close the door in order to fully experience life. And not to let other people’s drama bring me down."
— Ivy K.
"To create a plan to help improve the good or bad feelings that usually are normal."
— Bobby P.
"Stay positive and I have to take care of myself mind, body, and soul. Get enough sleep. Express myself and talk to people that are positive and helpful."
— Tara W.
"Know my worth, remember that I am not responsible for what others think about me."
— Kat M.
"I can do hard things. I am responsible for learning as much as I can from challenges. A challenge really is an opportunity for learning."
— Kristina S.
"Breathe. Remember to breathe. It changes how the body and mind feel! Amazing! And be present/mindful. I've realised I always like the moment I'm in way better than the future I'm worried about."
— Eva Þ.
"It will take a long time to make progress on big things. Big traumas and big hurts take time to work through. There’s no deadline on me other than the one I’ve self-imposed, so be ok with baby steps."
— Elise R.
"I need to protect my mental health just as much as I protect my physical health. Without these two things, we have nothing. I also learned that it's important to stand up for what I need in any given situation."
— Amber W.
"Still putting this into practice...but when I speak up for my wants and needs and honor them, I'm happier and the people around me are happier too. Speaking up for my wants & needs does not harm others——it empowers them to do the same."
— Alison C.
"To continue to give myself grace. No matter how many times I mess up or back track, I always need to be kind to myself. Every day is a new day to take it moment by moment."
— Amisha P.
"The 2010s were the decade that saw me finish high school, college, and my master’s degree. These years taught me that I can do hard things! Additionally, all the personal growth these years have witnessed has taught me, slowly, to love all the parts of my story."
— Sarah Z.
"My dreams are worth it."
— Kiana C.
"It’s important to truly love myself for the person I have become so I can be happy from within."
— Shannon D.
"I learned to accept that I have a chronic disease and to honor my limits with self-love."
— Melissa G.
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