This Ode to Self-Worth Is Required Reading For Your Inner Critic
I’m learning more and more that how we talk to and treat ourselves really matters. On good days, when life is humming along, I don’t take much note of my inner monologue. However, when I make a mistake or best laid plans go sideways, I find I can become my own worst enemy and harshest critic. Case in point: I recently had a couple of minor mishaps at work that happened one right after another (it sucks when that happens, right?). While it is uncharacteristic of my normal performance, I quickly began making unforgiving assessments of myself, doubting my effectiveness, and ultimately getting really down on myself. While the blunders passed, the funk from my mistakes lasted for a couple of days.
I woke up to a Shine Text recently about emotional hangovers. The message really struck a chord with me, and seemed to speak directly into the situation I was experiencing. The advice from the text was to cure an emotional hangover by letting it out. It suggested journaling to get some distance—so that's what I did. I decided to write advice to myself like I would give to a friend.
Here is what I wrote:
Some days are more difficult than others.
Some days you’re tired from nights of not sleeping well, and others you’re on top of the world.
Some days the luck of the day breaks your way, and some days it feels like a pile of rocks has been dumped on your shoulders.
Through it all, you’re the same person.
No matter what circumstances you find yourself in, remember to be kind to yourself.
There is only so much that you can control about the day, the week, and, at a greater level, your life.
Be a friend to yourself.
There are so many other things that can drag you down—don’t be one of them.
Surround yourself with people who share light and love with the world, and share it with them too.
Take a breath. Take a beat.
Remember you’re strong, you’re kind, you’re brave, and you have the resiliency you need to tackle whatever lies ahead.
And in most cases, you don’t have to do it alone.
It’s OK to lean on others for strength and support–burdens are much lighter when the weight can be shared.
Choose to love yourself and to love those around you.
And at the end of the day, if that’s all you’ve done, you will have succeeded in what is ultimately the most important thing of all.
After getting the words out, I realized I was being much harsher to myself than I would ever be to anyone else. That realization was an eye opener that shifted my perspective. Instead of continuing to beat myself up, I resolved to give myself grace and permission to move on.
You’re just as worthy of love as everyone else around you.
I decided to share the message above on Facebook in hopes of encouraging someone else who might need a day brighter. I’m honored to share it with you all, too. Friends, don’t forget that you’re just as worthy of love as everyone else around you. Be kind to yourselves—you deserve it.
Read next: How I Learned to Love My Dark Side